you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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