somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
