We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
