we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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