Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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