Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
