Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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