Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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