She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
