Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize