what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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