As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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