As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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