i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
