This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
