the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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