He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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