I didn't shave. On purpose
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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