i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He felt like a one man threesome
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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