So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
