No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
