thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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