"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
