Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
