Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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