I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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