so that wasnt chicken after all
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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