Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
