Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize