Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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