this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
