Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
