she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
