I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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