Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
