I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
