i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
