yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
