Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
