so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
