sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
