Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
