Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
