We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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