Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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