So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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