Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
