the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
