Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
