Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
