I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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