I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
