I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
