Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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