i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
