I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
These tits shall not be calmed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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