I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
