So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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