what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
