I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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